Bisexual Visibility Day

This week is bisexual visibility week, so I thought I’d take a moment to talk about my experience with dysphoria as a bisexual woman in a heteronormative world. Don’t get me wrong here, consider my privilege well and truly checked. I’ve never experienced physical abuse because of my sexual orientation, or gender and I’m white. I know my experiences could have been worse, but that shouldn’t stop me from sharing my story, because I also know a lot of very unhappy bi kids have experienced similar things to me.

See the thing is, until about a year ago I never truly believed that I was bisexual. From the day I came out as a 13 year old I thought I was lying to myself. I told myself I was doing it for attention, that I was secretly straight, I just wanted to seem different (bear in mind, I thought this at exactly the same time as literally being attracted to women). Then about two years ago I hadn’t found a man attractive for a while, so I started thinking I was gay (this is after years of sleeping with men I genuinely wanted to sleep with). On the outside I have always been resolute about my sexual orientation, unwilling to contribute to the prejudice against bisexuals by expressing my own prejudices against myself. But inside it was a different story.

This wasn’t helped by the attitude of some of the women I’ve dated, who towards the end of our relationships have made passive aggressive comments about fake bi women lying because they want to experiment. Apparently, if you’re bisexual, even lesbians think you have to be attracted to every woman who walks the earth in order to validate your orientation. By accusing me of being straight, this made me hang on to my attraction to women even harder.

It is a very strange feeling to know something about yourself but at the same time not believe that thing exists. When I stopped finding men attractive for a while (I’m sure many bisexuals can attest to finding that their attractions to different genders fluctuates over time) I was so relieved. Despite all I know about sexuality, I convinced myself that you could just stop being bisexual one day. I could finally just give it up and be gay, never have to worry about being judged for being with a man or called a liar for being with a woman. At last, people would take me at face value, and my orientation would have an identity.

Of course, shortly afterwards I met the love of my life, I became happier than I’ve ever been, we became best friends and I learned more about myself than I ever thought I could know. And because the universe has a sense of humour, it just so happens that person is a he. But the funny thing is, since being with him I’ve never felt so secure and confident in my sexual orientation. That feeling of being so entirely adored by someone has brought me so much inner peace and understanding of myself, and his questioning of my doubts about myself left me secure in the knowledge that I AM bisexual. Plus, we both fancy girls, which is great. 

I know all the things that bi-phobics are thinking as they read this, because I’ve berated myself with the same things since I was 13. ‘You’re not bi if you’re with a man’, ‘you were just experimenting’, ‘women aren’t bisexual, just sluts’. None of that is true.

I think a big part of the confusion about bisexuals comes from the lazy way we’ve adopted sexual orientation into things that are completely irrelevant. For example, ‘gay marriage’ is marriage – calling it gay not only sets it apart from the supposed ‘normal’ marriage, it also excludes bisexuals, because how do we have a wedding without erasing our orientation entirely? If my partner and I got married it could easily be labeled queer, but what about one bisexual with one completely straight/gay partner?

I’ve had a lot negative experiences as a bisexual woman, there’s no denying it. But I no longer see my orientation as a negative, confusing thing – it’s just part of who I am, a left-wing, vegetarian, curly haired bisexual. If you’re reading this in a similar situation, you need to accept it too, because it’s who you are. Accepting who you are is an essential part of life, even if you’d rather be something simpler. There are a lot of people in the world who want to mock you, and more still who don’t think you exist. Believe in yourself and what you are, so you’ll have the confidence to call people out when you see bisexual erasure or biphobia, and help make the world a better place for everyone!

If you’re bisexual and you’re experiencing bullying, abuse or mental health difficulties, please don’t stay silent. Talk to a friend or call the LGBT Switchboard on 0300 330 0630 – and if you like, click here for more info first.

The Sweater Weather Tag

Before being tagged by the hilarious, wonderful Jess at Half Girl Half Teacup I have to admit, I’d never really considered the way that autumn has been packaged, bottled and had a price tag slapped all over it. Well, now I know, and I’m bitter about it. I’ve always loved autumn, my birthday is in November so whenever people ask what my favourite season is (which if you think about it is a really weird question), I always say autumn, so I’m looking forward to doing this. That being said, this tag is American, so let me just get this out of my system to start with:


Anyway…let’s get to it…

Favourite candle scent? As long as it’s Diptyque, I don’t care. I have an addiction. 


We’ve worked out that if we buy the mini ones we can try more of the scents without breaking the bank quite so hard

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate? Coffee until I can’t drink any more coffee, then tea. I can only drink hot chocolate when there’s coffee in it (mmmm hi, Costa Mocha, how you doing?)

What’s the best fall memory you have? When I was a kid we used to combine my birthday with bonfire night and have a huge party in the wild bit down our garden. Either that or walking around Kew Gardens on a warm birthday last year with my (then) new love. 


He dresses better now

Which make-up trend do you prefer: dark lips or winged eyeliner? My lips are huge and bouncy, I look terrible with dark lipstick – I’m crap at winged eyeliner but I do love it. If I ever develop the patience for it maybe I’ll wear them more than twice a year. 

Best fragrance for fall? Do people seriously change their perfume based on the season? Fleur d’Oranger is my perfume, why would I ever change it? (Fun story, a lady came up to me in a restaurant on Saturday to tell me how perfect it was on my skin. Whaaaaa?!)

Favourite Thanksgiving food (or fall food if you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving)? I don’t condone America’s odd tradition of celebrating colonisation, but I did have an American style cornbread/apple/cranberry stuffing dish once that was pretty bloody incredible. 

What is autumn weather like where you live? Unpredictable – I’ve had birthdays where we could barely even go outside it was so cold, yet last year boyfriend and I walked around Kew Gardens like it was June (probably global warming). It’s always wet though.

Most worn sweater? A light grey beauty from & Other Stories

Football games or jumping in leaf piles? I’ve never seen a leaf pile that could support the weight of a human, but I’d certainly like to. That or women’s football, otherwise nope.

Favourite type of pie? Cherry.

What song really gets you into the fall spirit? ‘Happy birthday to you’ (yes literally all my memories of autumn are skewed by the fact that November is my birthday month, don’t judge me).

Is pumpkin spice worth the hype? Unless it’s in a fucking dessert, NO.

Favourite fall TV show? I was so prepared for a sarcastic response to this one about there being no such thing as seasonal TV and then I remembered Twin Peaks. It’s Twin Peaks.

Skinny jeans or leggings? Depends on the activity. Skinny jeans for faffing around London, leggings for hauling my ass up the side of whatever mountain my boyfriend and I can make it out of the city to on the weekends.


I love London, but leggings, boots and the Lake District make for an incredible weekend.

Combat boots or Uggs? Combat boots if I ever had the aesthetic, but I never will and don’t want to, so neither. I don’t care how comfortable Uggs are, I will never leave the house with two loaves of bread on my feet. 

Halloween- Yay or Nay? Halloween is great for a debauched house party, but even my scrooge parents get more into the ‘kids trick or treating’ thing than me. I’m a ‘turn the lights off close the curtains so people think I’m out’ kind of douchebag.


A friend of mine did a halloween insect dinner and this was there (check out Hot Buzz if you’re in LDN)

Fall mornings or evenings? Impossible to choose. Crips autumn mornings are refreshing and make you feel excited for the rest of the day, but sunsets in the autumn remind me of my childhood like nothing else.IMG_4720

What do you think about Black Friday? Consumerist hell, a day that leaves my faith in humanity utterly decimated, especially since in the UK we don’t even have the sodding holiday that precedes it. 

One Fall 2015 trend you love? Umm… jumpers?

I nominate:

Lucieleanne XO

Polished by Amy

The Beauty Sanctuary

Aubergine Reverie

Tea at Midnight

Lush Elbow Grease

I’ve been posting about Lush a lot recently (see here, here and here). This adoration is well deserved, because their new products are seriously amazing, and I think this melty, fragrant and intensely nourishing Elbow Grease moisturising bar might be one of my favourites.


A fragrant, rich moisturising bar that can be used anywhere you need to nourish some dryness, Elbow Grease contains a gorgeous mixture of butters and oils held together seemingly by magic. The nourishing coconut oil, cupuacu and murumuru butters keep it in a bar shape, but only just. It’s so finely balanced that almost as soon as it comes into contact with your fingers it melts into a rich, thick oil. There’s candelilla wax in there too, which protects the skin like beeswax does. I keep my bar in its original paper to make sure it doesn’t melt on me. I’m sure it won’t, as it does hold its shape really well when your skin isn’t in direct contact with it, but still.


I’ve never seen a product do this before (not even coconut oil on it’s own melts this quickly) and I absolutely love it. Melty gorgeousness aside, one of the best things about Elbow Grease is the smell. Holy crap, this stuff smells like heaven. It’s an intoxicating blend of neroli, orange blossom, rosewood, sandalwood and ylang ylang that wakes you up and makes you smile as soon as you smell it. Apart from the gorgeous fragrance, there were a few other reasons I bought it. First, I thought it would be good for the rough skin that I sometimes get on my hands and feet (to put on at night since there’s no way I’d be able to use my hands after slathering it on!). Then I thought it would be perfect for softening, perfuming and conditioning my underarm hair. But finally, and most importantly, I had an inkling that Elbow Grease would be amazing for my thick, dry, coarse, frizzy and curly hair.


And that’s what this post is really about, because seriously, I was RIGHT. The first time I tried Elbow Grease on my hair, I had it up in a frizzy, annoying ponytail. I was in a rush so I just pinched a bit out and rubbed in between my fingers before smoothing it through my hair… and the frizz was gone. I had smooth, shiny curls all day. I’ve used it several times since, particularly when my hair gets that annoying bouncy frizz thing going on. Every time I use it end up with defined, shiny and nourished curls. Here’s the proof:



Same handful of hair, but before the second pic I quickly ran some Elbow Grease over each curl. Now, it goes without saying that if your hair is thinner, oilier or generally more well behaved than mine, Elbow Grease will not have such a subtle and desirable effect on your hair. However, my boyfriend, who’s hair is completely normal and acceptable, has started using it about once a fortnight on his hair before he goes to bed, to soften and nourish it like an intense mask, and it looks gorgeous. He’s sitting with it on right now and actually it doesn’t look oily at all!

I am SO impressed with this stuff, and am secretly hoping I end up with my annual ‘winter dry hands’ so I have an excuse to use this on more parts of my body. I’m gonna get them anyway, may as well have a reason to look forward to it! Get Elbow Grease on Lush for £5.95 – link

Hourglass Ambient Lighting Blush – Luminous Flush

Ok, I’ll be honest here – I know almost nothing about blusher, and my only rule is pretty much ‘as long as there’s no glitter in it and it’s pink’…IMG_7317Make-up is fairly unknown territory to me, because I’m so not a morning person. I’ve never had the time to get into it and actually enjoy the process (it’s a ‘slapping it on with my hand, swiping on some powder and trying not to poke myself with mascara as I put my shoes on at the same time’ situation). Through blogging though, I’ve recently discovered products that are so wonderful, my passion has been well and truly ignited. Hourglass Ambient Lighting Blush is absolutely one of them.

It goes without saying that this blush is beautiful beyond belief. The marble effect looks so luxurious (I mean, it is luxurious, but it really makes you feel like you’re pampering yourself every time you apply it) and I love the fact that it’s two separate parts of the blush, the powder and the pigment, which are combined once you swirl your brush over it. The pigment is astonishing – I swipe my brush lightly over the blush twice and I’m left with a gorgeously warm pink on my cheeks.

IMG_7716This moody-as-hell morning selfie demonstrates how effortlessly this blush imparts a lovely subtle pink to the cheeks. I put next to no effort into my make-up on weekdays, but now my face looks more alive awake and radiant every day. I adore this shade too – the warm pink is a perfect match for my pale skin, blonde hair and blue eyes. The shades are really varied though, with lovely options for dark and light skin, with both yellow and blue undertones. Hourglass clearly know not only their lighting, but also their skin colours.

My Geologist boyfriend really liked the fact that Hourglass’s Ambient Lighting products contain diamond powder – he tells me that this has the effect of ‘scattering’ the light. As diamond refracts light a lot, adding the powder to the blush means that light will be refracted in lots of different directions instead of just reflected like with glitter. This gives a sophisticated glow, as opposed to the annoying sparkle of glitter (sorry everyone, I REALLY hate glitter in everyday make-up products). It really does as well – in comparison to any other blusher I’ve tried, there’s something incredibly complex about the colour. It’s not a sheen, but when James explained that the powder would refract light like that, it really made sense.

I absolutely love Hourglass Ambient Lighting Blush – it’s so much more than just a blusher, and I really want to give their other Ambient Lighting products a try one day. Get it from Space NK for £28 – link

Learning to love my armpit hair

Today, I went to my first ever yoga class, and I was a bit nervous. Being naturally flexible and weirdly good at balancing (thanks, five years of gymnastic trampolining), actually being able to do the poses wasn’t the thing that was worrying me. My nerves were to do with the fact that I haven’t shaved my underarms for almost a year. I was wearing a vest top and sports bra, and was about to spend an hour with my arms up in the air, surrounded by beautiful strangers.

I love my underarm hair. It’s so soft, and it curls like the hair on my head. My partner thinks it’s pretty. think it’s pretty. The fact that I can have body hair, not worry about people seeing it and still feel confident is a huge thing for me. I struggled with body image until I was about 22, so here I am making myself less attractive in the eyes of society, and I still feel good?!

The yoga class was a blip – I was unsure of the people I’d be around, and knew that if anyone looked at me there was no chance they wouldn’t see my underarms.This experience was definitely the most intense ‘armpit hair display’ I’ve ever had, and I got through it because I knew that I liked my armpit hair, and I wanted to share with you the way that I actually learned to love it. Yep, that’s right, this is my underarm hair beauty routine. And what?


Step one: Washing. 

My boyfriend sports a lovely Aragorn-style 5 day beard, which looks insanely sexy but has a tendency to scratch my delicate face apart when we make out. When shopping around for something to tame it, we came across this Kalamazoo Beard Wash in Lush and he bought a small tub. A couple of weeks later, he went back to buy this bucket size, because this mixture of pineapple, almond oil, jojoba oil and cupuaçu makes body hair INSANELY soft. I asked James if I could try it on my underarm hair one morning and he enthusiastically agreed, and ever since my hair has been baby soft and super smooth.

Step two: Deodorise. 

I haven’t used anti-perspirant for almost a year. Natural deodorants are great as they allow you to sweat (which you NEED to do) but if used correctly, do help prevent body odour. I use Pit Rok Spray in the morning, as this prevents the smell, and then Weleda Sage Deodorant later in the day if I need to cover up. I’ve tried tonnes of natural deos, and these are definitely the best. I keep my arms pressed to my sides to make sure the liquid gets through the hair and all over my skin.

Step three: Conditioning.

Using oil on your armpit hair is entirely optional, I usually only do it when I’m wearing something sleeveless. It is, however, the most absolutely gorgeous thing you can do with your underarm hair, and an excellent way of feeling more confident about it. When you lift your arm up to point at something and are greeted with the smell of some beautiful essential oils, how could you, or anyone else, think anything bad about your body hair? It smells of blossoms and fruit! I had this little bottle of Jurlique Skin Balancing Face Oil and have been using that because it smells divine and my hair loves it – while it’s pricey, I am SO tempted to buy some more when it runs out. But I’ve also recently bought some Elbow Grease, a exclusive Lush Oxford Street product that is without a shadow of a doubt the most gorgeous collection of oils EVER. It melts into skin and hair immediately, and actually smells just like my Serge Lutens Fleur d’Oranger perfume. When I put oil on my armpit hair, I like to comb it through with an eyelash comb. You’d be surprised how tangled  an inch of armpit hair can get! It curls and sits beautifully after I do this (and no, it doesn’t look greasy, the hair is too thick for that!)

Step four: Nighttime. 

I often shower before bed rather than in the morning as it helps me sleep, and as part of my night time skincare routine, I always sprinkle some dusting powder on my underarms to make sure they’re fresh in the morning. If I’m showering in the morning instead, I don’t bother, but it’s lovely to go to bed with fragrant, dusted underarms. Lush’s dusting powders are the only ones worth using if you ask me, and their Princess Dusting Powder, bought for me as an in-joke gift by my boyfriend (and another Oxford Street Exclusive), is gorgeous. Silky Underwear is another stunning option that I’ve raved about before.

So that’s how I grew to really enjoy having underarm hair! Is it stereotypical? Yes. Do I care? Hell no, I’m having SO much fun. One day I might even dye it green. 

Aesop Resurrection Aromatique Hand Balm

Hand creams and I, we have a special relationship. Being something of a germophobe, and having naturally really dry hands (thanks dad), balms, creams and lotions have their work cut out when they meet me. I reviewed a lot of mediocre hand creams back in the day, but I’ve decided that now, I’ll ONLY be reviewing the creams that really make me go wow. Maybe when I accumulate a load of crap ones I’ll do a post on them, but for now, lets focus on Aesop Resurrection Aromatique Hand Balm.IMG_6761

The nourishing ingredients packed into this botanical mixture, are quite something. Shea butter, sweet almond oil, coconut oil, macadamia nut oil, cetaryl alcohol (a fatty acid and amazing moisturiser), glycerin, cocoa butter, wheatgerm oil AND soybean oil. Like, whaaaat? Most hand creams would only contain one or two of these, but the combination of all of them means you get all of their individual benefits too. For example, coconut oil has antimicrobial properties, almond oil helps to protect the skin and wheatgerm oil is high in antioxidant vitamin E. The texture of the cream is gorgeous, while it’s in incredibly rich balm it melts into the skin so easily. The perfect combination of nourishment and absorbency for the busy lady with a dry hand problem.


The botanical ingredients in Resurrection Aromatique are seriously out of this world. Orange, cedarwood, lavender, grapefruit and rosemary combine to make an intense and complex fragrance, that really does resurrect the senses. There are so many amazing ingredients in this balm, I want to talk about them all! There’s soothing aloe vera, anti-ageing tocopherol and carrot oil in there too.

So on paper this sounds like the best hand cream around, right? I have to say, I genuinely think it’s one of my favourites. I use it every morning before work (I massage it in while I’m walking out of my flat, covers up the smell of central London nicely) and it absorbs really well. Since using this I’ve realised that not only have I stopped having to use a hand cream throughout the day, my hands now look younger too! If you have constantly dry hands, this is such a good option for you, I cannot recommend it enough. It certainly isn’t a budget product, but at £19.00 for a 75ml tube, you’d be insane not to try it if you struggle to find good hand creams. Get it on Aesop’s website. Link

I’m really keen to try more of Aesop’s products, do you have any recommendations?

Benefit Dream Screen SPF 45 Broad Spectrum Sunscreen

I have a weird problem with sunscreens. There are chemicals in most of them my facial skin reacts to, even though it isn’t really that sensitive to anything else. My skin breaks out in blotches, and feels hot. Believe me when I say I wasn’t expecting to find a solution, especially not one so pleasant and protective as Benefit Dream Screen!


I’ve recently woken up to the fact that I’m in my mid-twenties, and have never used regular sun protection unless it’s the SPF 15 I used to get in my foundation. Did you know that sun damage breaks down the collagen in your skin more than anything else, including poor skincare and even ageing? Especially when you’re as pasty as I am, you need something high protection otherwise you’re screwed.  So when I was pottering around a Benefit stand a while ago I decided to ask for a sample. The lady gave me two little tubs which lasted for ages – giving me more than enough time to know that my skin loved it.


A couple of things I’ve read about Dream Screen moan that it makes your skin feel greasy – if you’ve read that too (because let’s face it, it’s impossible to avoid paula’s fucking choice when looking for reviews) let me tell you that it’s a load of rubbish. When your skin feels greasy it feels like there’s thick oil covering it, when you put this on, it feels silky. Soft, matt, calm, smooth and ready for anything, including fierce summer sun.

It sinks into your skin immediately, leaving invisible, broad spectrum and incredibly high protection as well as a soft, gorgeous feeling. It sits under my makeup perfectly, and I’ve been using it instead of my primer this summer. Since I started using it my skin has stayed exactly the same colour, so I’m confident the protection is exactly what they say it is. Benefit Dream Screen SPF 45 is an amazing solution for anyone who usually struggles with sun protection, as well as anyone looking for gorgeous, fuss free sun care. Get it on Feel Unique for £25 – link